This is a transcribed copy of Episode 7. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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(Rachel and Judith laugh with thunder booming in the background)
Rachel: Oh, Judith, our plan is coming together like, so good!
Judith: I know, Rachel, it's... it's so diabolical, there's so many twists and turns.
Rachel: Yes, it is like we are the two new characters on Gossip Girl!
Judith: Yeah, like, once our plan is executed at prom, you and I are gonna be like Serena and Blair of Overland Park!
(Rachel and Judith laugh again with more thunder booming)
Rachel: Yes, but we are more beautiful!
(The lights turn on and Bridget enters)
Bridget: Rachel, Mom told me to tell you that Teen Wolf is starting.
Rachel: I know that Bridget! I'm recording it on the DVR so that I can fast forward through commercials!
Bridget: Well she just told me to tell you—
Rachel: Well I know, okay?
Bridget: Ugh.
Judith: Hey, hey Bridget, um, how's it goin'?
Bridget: Well, I'm twenty-seven and I'm still living with my parents in Overland Park. I have an art history degree from night school. My cat just died. I've lost 25 percent control of my sphincter muscles. I get a clicking sound in my jaw when I eat. I drive a '91 Dodge Neon. I have ovarian cysts. Sometimes I pee the bed still. I have alopecia. The only man who wants to fuck me is my 48-year-old manager at Pizza Street. P.S., he only has one ball. So I guess... better than you.
Judith: Oh, um, um, in that case, hey, could you guys let me know if you guys have any good deals coming up?
Bridget: Well you can't have gluten. Why would you go to a pizza restaurant?
Judith: Well, I just—
Rachel: She goes for the salads.
Judith: And the meats.
Bridget: Yeah, well, if we ever have a special on meat salad, I'll let you know.
Judith: Cool.
Bridget: I'm gonna go watch Girls.
Rachel: Oh, Gossip Girl?
Bridget: No, Girls, On HBO! Kind of like Gossip Girl, but more tits.
Rachel: Don't erase my DVR!
Bridget: I'm going to watch it in the family room, you stupid fucking abortion!
Rachel: Okay.
Judith: Bye Bridget!
Rachel: Yeah, that's right, walk away, like a bitch!
Bridget: What the fuck did you say?
Rachel: No, nothing I just say that I just, I just—
(Rachel then is beat up by Bridget while she cries)